This little girl is simply adorable. She is born to two deaf parents, and during her Christmas Program at school, she used American Sign Language to ensure that her parents were able to enjoy the show as much as every other parent there could.
This is what I heard last night while tucking my little man in bed. He rarely talks about his dad, so when he does, I know he must be thinking hard about him. I just responded “I don’t know”, unsure of what else to say. I mean it has been roughly five years since he has seen his dad- lots can happen in that time. Then he says, “I think you and Daddy should get back together.” I’m glad it was dark in the room and he had his back to me, otherwise I can’t say I would have been able to hide the repulsion on my face. I said, “Honey- your dad and I don’t do well together. We’ve tried it more than once, and we just don’t get along. We are better apart than we are together.” Quiet from Elijah… then a barely audible “Oh.” “Do you miss your dad? Is that why you want us to get back together?” “Yeah. Kinda.” He replied. After that, he was done. He said good night and sleep tight, and I knew that was my cue to stop talking, and leave him alone to his thoughts….
These are the moments that break my heart just a little bit. He’s a good kid, and I did that. He’s sweet, caring, empathetic, kind, outgoing, and funny- and I have serious doubts he would be the way he is if his dad and I had stayed together. We fought so much. It was exhausting to maintain a relationship with someone you are afraid of, no matter much you want it to work. I’m glad that we are not together, but I’m sad for the part of Elijah who has a missing piece. He remembers just bits and pieces of his dad, and I think most of it is from the pictures that remain. The older he gets, the less he remembers. He talks to him once or twice a year now, and those conversations are awkward and stilted. They don’t know each other- they don’t share a connection, or anything. His dad has no idea what shows he likes to watch on TV, what books he likes to read, what makes him laugh, what makes him cry. What college he wants to go to, and his plan for his life. He doesn’t know what makes Elijah, Elijah. And that is definitely sad, more for his dad’s sake than Elijah’s. E is one freaking amazing kid, and anyone who chooses to not be involved with him, doesn’t deserve to anyways. But I am sad for the part of Elijah that misses that part of him, of who he is.
I am so grateful for the amazingly loving and supportive family that I have, and that help me in so many ways to raise Elijah. But it still doesn’t fill that void he may be starting to feel, with that missing half of him. While my childhood was far from ideal, and my parents were divorced, I knew I would get to see my dad every other weekend, and for half of the summer, no matter what. And I lived for those times. But I have a dad that chose to be there, and come hell or high water, we were his kids, and he was going to spend the time with us he deserved. And just as he was there for us growing up, he is now there for Elijah as he is growing up. Going to his sporting events, going to his school plays and church plays, being an active part of his life. Because he chooses to.
Two peas in a pod these guys are:
Argh! I’ve been so busy lately that I’ve been neglecting my blog again- sorry to my 3 faithful followers Work has been picking up (I got a ‘promotion’ of sorts- go me!), the busy holiday season is here, and honestly I’ve been TIRED like I can’t believe the last few weeks. Tired like I want to go to bed every-night at 6 pm tired. I think part of it may be my medication I am taking to help me get through this spot in my life, part of it may be that I am fighting the depression, part of it is the constant hustle and bustle of this time of year, and the rest has got to be due to the fact that it’s now dark at 5 pm.
Thanksgiving has come and gone, and now Christmas is almost here. The good news is the tree is up, and the presents are all bought.I did almost everything online this year and now I just sit and wait for the gifts to come to me; which, really it doesn’t get better than that. The bad news is that the only Christmas decoration I have up in my house besides my tree is my nativity set. I have seriously no motivation to put them up. None. I wonder if Elijah would notice if I didn’t do it… In any case, the tree looks great and Elijah put the Angel on top this year- all alone. My little guy is not so little anymore :-/
My sister and I took the boys to the Pro Football Hall of Fame on Black Friday. Despite the fact I grew up right down the street from there (no lie), it was my first time there. I’m not a HUGE football fan, but I do enjoy watching games. I was a little bored in some parts of the HoF, but for the most part it was really interesting. The boys though, well- they had a blast and are expecting that that will be the future home of their head busts some day Here are a few pics from the day:
The gift shop was ridiculous. It was huge, and I was able to sneak a few things to buy for him for Christmas without him knowing. I love being sneaky
Also we had a snow day before Thanksgiving and I put child labor to use that day:
Better them then me!
I hope everyone is enjoying this busy Christmas season and is able to spend it with friends and family, which is just the way it should be!
This year for Halloween, Elijah wanted to be Michael Jordan. Easy right, just get a jersey and carry a basketball. Wrong- not easy if you’re this mom right here. Not only do I apparently enjoy waiting until the last minute every year to get a costume for him, I also enjoy the panicky feeling of not being able to find him the costume he wants. Next option was to be a geek. That’s easy enough, we only needed a pair of suspenders. I wasn’t going to spend a bunch of money (and by a bunch I mean more than $5) on something he was only going to wear once, so Goodwill it was. No suspenders there. I was trying to convince him to use the same costume from last year, which was not so fun for him, but super cheap for me.
I happened up on a rack of clothes, and saw this hideous dress. I said “Or you could be a pretty pretty princess” half joking. Well, he jumped at the chance and took it to the dressing room. It fit, was $5, and he was cracking up about it. Cracking up. Next stop was Marc’s to see about a wig, and any other ‘accessories’ he might want. So with less than $15 into this costume, this was the final product:
So to me, Halloween is about having fun and dressing up. To Elijah and his friends, it’s about getting candy, and having fun and dressing up. And getting candy. Dressing up like girls on Halloween was funny to them. Yet there was a group of girls who kept saying how ‘weird’ they were for dressing up like girls, and a kid from one of their classes who said they just ‘weren’t right’. I know that kids are mean, but it’s Halloween for crying out loud. what makes dressing up as a zombie, or a vampire, or a geek OK, but not dressing up as a cheerleader, or a ‘girl’?
I would be worried if Elijah wanted to dress up in girl clothes year round, or snuck around and dressed up like a girl, but he doesn’t. It’s Halloween, which to kids, is a fun time to dress up and be something you’re not for a few hours. Be silly, and laugh with your friends. Race from house to house to see who can ring the doorbell first and get the best pick of candy. They don’t know the dark side to Halloween and how some people celebrate it. And that’s how I’d like to keep it.
I’m not a huge fan of eclairs. Crazy, I know. When one of my friends from work made this and brought it in, I was a little hesitant to try it. But it was to. die. for. And not only that, it was SO easy to make. I love to make recipes that can be thrown together in less than 20 minutes, and this was definitely one of those. It does need to be made the night before, or set for several hours to let the graham crackers soak up some of the pudding, but it’s delicious! Here’s what you need:
2 individual packages graham crackers
2 (3 ounce) packages instant vanilla pudding mix
3 cups milk
1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed
1 (16 ounce) package prepared chocolate frosting
1.Line the bottom of a 9×13-inch pan with graham crackers.
3. Spread half of mixture over graham cracker layer. Top with another layer of graham crackers and the remaining pudding.
4..Top all with a final layer of graham crackers and frost with chocolate frosting. I put my frosting in the microwave for 27 seconds (yeah I know it’s an odd amount, but it worked. And I’m an odd duck) to soften it up. It made it really easy to spread it across the graham crackers.
Refrigerate at least two hours before serving to allow the graham crackers to soften.
I should have taken a picture of the final product, cut. But rest assured, it was delicious and not one complaint